We know that jealousy is a feeling that is part of our relationships, it is very common in affective relationships or not. But when jealousy goes beyond the barrier of normality, it becomes a major problem that can lead to damage.

But what is jealousy?

Jealousy is a feeling that comes from the fear of losing. Normally the jealous person feels insecure. The jealous person  gives signals that can be calm or unhealthy as they become a feeling of possession. When jealousy is calm, there is no need to worry so much, because with dialogue and understanding there will certainly be an understanding. Now, when jealousy is one of possession, the damage is great.

So how can you tell if you're a normal jealous person or a possessive person?

A jealous person, but in the mildest sense, usually respects the other person's intimacy and when they feel jealous, they express it in a healthy way and try to understand the reasons and seek a solution to this discomfort in the relationship in order to resolve any mistrust or doubt.The person who feels jealousy in an exaggerated way, to the point of wanting to look into the other person's life, disrespecting their privacy and intimacy, becomes a controlling person and very difficult to live with. They are usually people who believe they own the situation, a sick feeling of possession that ends up destroying any relationship.

What should you do if you're a possessive person?

• First of all, you have to love yourself, value yourself, raise your self-esteem, so that you can relate well to other people;
• Analyze why you feel so possessed by the other person and question your behavior;
• Try to work on trust in the relationship, expressing your feelings and also knowing how to listen to the other person;
• Learn to recognize that you have crossed the barrier of normality and need help;
• Understand that we are different and free, no one is obliged to have a relationship with someone if they don't want to;
• Trust yourself and know how to trust others;
• Don't bring insecurities and disappointments from the past, free yourself from this attachment to what you've already experienced, understand that it's another relationship and that you have everything to be happy, you just have to believe;
• Learn to show your feelings in a healthy way;
• If you feel cheated, seek the truth through dialog, as this is the best remedy for any distrust and pain;
• If the relationship breaks down, know how to value yourself and get on with your life, because it was the relationship that ended, not your life.

Always reinforce the importance of loving yourself above all else, it's not about self-centeredness, it's about respect and self-love.