I've split up, so what?
11/04/2023 ● Sandra Ruiz Mello
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Imagem de Annette por Pixabay
A break-up is difficult at any time in your life, whether you're married or dating, but if there's no longer any chance of saving the relationship, the healthiest thing is for both of you to understand that the decision to separate is mature and that you're both strong enough to go on with your lives separately.
When only one side wants to split up, the other tends to suffer because they don't take this decision very well.
What you have to understand is that if the relationship was no longer solid and happy, if there was no more love, then the decision to separate really does seem the right one.
But when there are other people who may be affected by the separation, such as the children, it is necessary for both of them to have common sense and work to ensure that this marital breakdown does not harm the whole family.
The ideal is for the couple to go through the break-up in a harmonious way and live together well.
It's not healthy for them to use their children to get at each other, the marital relationship is over, but the relationship with the children will continue and if it's peaceful it's much more positive for everyone.
Another important and relevant factor is knowing how to agree on the division of assets, if any.
Try to resolve this property issue without fighting so that it doesn't end up in court, because it's a hardship that could affect everyone. Good dialog between the parties is the best way to end the relationship.
If the relationship ended only because of one party's choice, which wasn't yours, avoid feelings that cause you pain, anger, resentment, guilt, because they won't help at all in this process of your life.
Accept that it's over and try to invest in yourself, don't mourn the end, but see that now it's a new phase in your life and that you need to take care of yourself.
How? Invest in yourself, do things that you didn't do when you were in a relationship and that you can do now that you're single.
Here are some tips:
It's important to focus on things that fulfill you as a person and make you happy.
Don't desperately look for another relationship to take the place of the previous one.
Take advantage of this time alone to get to know yourself better, don't have the illusion that you'll only be happy if you have someone by your side. Learn to be happy on your own and understand that the other person will only add to you, the protagonist of your life is you.
If you can't get over the end of a relationship, if you feel confused and sad for a long time, if you don't know how to deal with the break-up, which isn't good at all, seek therapy that will help you understand and overcome this new passage in your life better.
Know that your life is valuable, you are the only person who can make you happy.
TO THINK ABOUT
" We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. "
Albert Einstein
" We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. "
Aristotle
" The world is a harmonious composition of contrary tensions. "
Pythagoras
" If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration. "
Nikola Tesla
" The future depends on what we do in the present. "
Mahatma Gandhi
" The sun, too, is a star, and all stars are like the sun. "
Galileo Galilei
" Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful. "
Paulo Coelho
" The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. "
Carl Sagan
" Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. "
Bob Marley
" Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world. "
Malala Yousafzai